


platonic kisses

by wonhee



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, Boys Kissing, First Kiss, First Time Blow Jobs, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, I still suck at summaries, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, a lil bit of - Freeform, as usual, boys growing, tho hoseok was really good at it for his first time, we love friends to lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-26
Updated: 2018-07-26
Packaged: 2019-06-16 21:17:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15446043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wonhee/pseuds/wonhee
Summary: “My lips aren’t big for no reason you know.”“Your lips are big so you can give me a blowjob?”***or simply kihyun pining for hoseok and everyone can see it but hoseok





	platonic kisses

**SIXTEEN**

*******

“Seems like someone’s finally moving into Mrs Goldberg’s house.”

Kihyun looked up from his phone, turning to his mother and shrugging slightly. It was hot, way too hot and he wished he was somewhere else in the world; somewhere his sweat didn’t drip from his forehead down to his neck like rain. Outside, loud voices boomed and an ice cream truck sounded, prompting cheers from neighbourhood kids. His mother had made an effort to keep the house cool, though without the AC and with only one fan in the household it was quite difficult. The open windows let in no breeze and the black leather couches his mother had gleefully purchased now stuck to his body. His mother was perched by the window that looked out to the neighbour’s yard, interest seemingly piqued. She’d recently cut her hair into an alarming bob and dyed it jet black. It suited her, Kihyun thought. Her slightly plump face was highlighted more and she looked beautiful. She turned to him, wolfish grin on her face and Kihyun frowned.

“Why should I care?” he asked.

“Because I just saw a young boy walk in carrying some boxes! About _your_ age Kiki!” she exclaimed. Kihyun didn’t know what to make of her excitement. He’d recently confessed to his mother that he “doesn’t have any feelings for the opposite sex” and she had took it well. Except she’d now apparently made it her mission to set her son up with every guy she came across. Kihyun was sure she meant well, but being friendless all his life was bad enough, he didn’t need his mother to get him dates.

“Mum I literally don’t care.” Kihyun stated.

“Kiki-”

“And stop calling me ‘Kiki’ oh my God Mum, I’m 16!” Kihyun replied and his mother smiled softly before clapping her hands and rushing to the kitchen.

“I’ll bake them my famous blueberry pie and we can go over tonight, welcome them to the neighbourhood!” His mother called from the kitchen.

Kihyun turned his attention back to his phone, knowing when his mother decided something there was no arguing with her. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad; maybe Kihyun would find a friend in the boy his mother seemed besotted with already. Maybe then he could finally have a solid friend, someone he could go out with and be a teenager with. Maybe then he wouldn’t feel like shit every time he saw teenagers around his neighbourhood live their lives while he stayed home playing game after game.

Thoughts still swirling in his mind, Kihyun got up and rushed to his room, peering through his sea coloured curtains to glance outside. A huge white van was parked by the house next door and a man emerged from it, carrying a brown box. Next to him was a boy, his black hair the only feature Kihyun could make out. The boy looked quite skinny, and appeared to be just a bit taller than Kihyun and his arms shook as he struggled to hold on to the box he was carrying. Kihyun watched as he attempted to walk up the stairs and tripped, sending the contents of the box flying. With held breath, Kihyun watched as the boy surveyed the scene before a loud laugh escaped from his lips at his own failure. Kihyun found himself chuckling slightly too.

Pulling a chair, Kihyun sat down and watched the family, mind reeling and excitement growing at the novelty that he could form a friendship with this boy he’d already started liking from the little glimpses he’s seen of him.

“Kihyun! Get showered and ready, wear that nice white shirt of yours!” his mother called and Kihyun turned to the little clock on his bedside table, finally aware of the time passed while he sat and watched his neighbours. He quickly got showered and dressed, choosing to go with a simple tee and shorts. His ‘nice white shirt’ was merch he had bought from a comic convention last year, he wasn’t ready for the boy to know about his nerdy tendencies just yet.

Rushing downstairs, he stifled a laugh seeing his mother primped and wearing more makeup than she usually wore.

“Could you be any more obvious?”

“Hold off on the sarcasm when we get to their house Kiki or so help me God.”

“If you hold off on calling me ‘Kiki’. Seriously Mum I’m 16!”

His mother rolled her eyes before brushing off invisible dust off his clothes. Then inhaling deeply, she opened the door and led the way across to the neighbour’s front door. She turned to Kihyun, nodded her head as if pleased with his appearance before dramatically knocking on the door. Kihyun definitely knew where he got his dramatic nature from.

The door swung open moments later and the man he had seen in the morning was stood, dressed in comfortable tracksuits. His hair was showing a hint of grey and receding a bit, and he had the most deep brown eyes and pale skin. His mouth broke into a smile and he leaned forward eagerly; Kihyun instantly liked him.

“Welcome to the neighbourhood! I’m Yoo Minjae and this is my son Kihyun. We brought you ‘welcome to the neighbourhood’ pie!” his mother exclaimed, voice rising in pitch and Kihyun sighed. The man smiled even wider, enthusiastically taking the pie his mother was practically thrusting in his face.

“Thank you so much! This looks fantastic. I’m Lee Hojun and my son Hoseok’s in his room upstairs. Please come in.” Hojun replied, voice even higher than his mother’s and Kihyun smiled as they entered the softly lit house. His mother and Hojun would certainly get along.

“I’m so happy that there is a teenage boy just next door for Hoseok to befriend!” Hojun beamed.

“That’s exactly what I said to Kihyun!”

Kihyun had to stop himself from glaring at his mother, polite smile still etched on his lips. The last thing he wanted was Hojun or Hoseok to realise was that he was a loner.

“Please, wait in the living room, make yourselves at home. I’ll go get Hoseok and we can all get to know each other while eating this pie that I’m sure is gonna taste even better than it looks. And sorry about the boxes. We’re still getting settled.”

“See that wasn’t so bad was it?” his mother asked as they moved to the living room and Kihyun waited for Hojun to be out of earshot before turning pointedly at her.

“Mum! You’re embarrassing me!” Kihyun complained, sitting down on the only couch not piled with boxes with a huff. It was pretty obvious that the Lees had just moved in. Besides a single photo frame that held a person Kihyun assumed was Hoseok, everything else was covered or with boxes piled on top. Kihyun resisted going to look at the photo frame. The real person would be in front of him soon anyway. He straightened up as he heard footsteps coming down the stairs and he wished he’d taken more care in making his auburn hair less messy. His mother quickly rushed to sit next to him, placing a quick comforting hand on his shoulder.

Everything was resting on this, on Kihyun hopefully befriending this boy that could take one look at Kihyun with his freckly nose and messy hair and bland brown eyes and laugh. Kihyun was nervous, he realised, as his heart rate sped up the louder the footsteps got. Nervous for making a fool of himself and having yet another person decide he wasn’t worth their time, nervous that once again he wouldn’t be good enough for someone’s friendship.

“Hi! You must be Hoseok.”

Kihyun looked towards the door at the sound of his mother’s voice and found himself momentarily breathless. Hoseok was walking towards them, smile on his face. He was as pale as his Dad and a bit skinny; but his face, his face was stunning. His cheeks were a bit chubby and his eyes were a big, bold brown, dark, curly, slightly wet hair falling into them like a curtain. Kihyun found even his nose pretty; they were sloped downwards a bit, with semi flared nostrils that literally looked heart shaped. Kihyun didn’t think it was possible to find teeth pretty, but Hoseok’s were. Delicate rows of pearly whites with his gums showing when he smiled. And God, did he have a beautiful smile.

“Hi! Sorry I wasn’t at the door with my Dad I was showering.” Hoseok spoke and Kihyun almost protested right there because it wasn’t enough that Hoseok looked that beautiful, at an age where he was supposed to look awkward. But he also had a nice voice and it was obvious he was quite confident too. Kihyun turned to his mother and saw her beaming. She was enamoured. He didn’t blame her.

“I’m Minjae and this is my son Kihyun.”

Hoseok turned to him and Kihyun realised he had to say something, _anything_.

“Hi.” He said and Hoseok’s eyebrow shot up. Great. He didn’t like him, Kihyun already messed everything up with one word. He wished then he could be confident and cool and less fucking awkward.

“My Dad’s asked me to ask you guys if you wanted to stay for dinner? He’s already in there cooking spaghetti so you kinda have to say yes.” Hoseok joked and Kihyun’s mother laughed, already obviously charmed by him.

“We’d love to. In fact I’ll go help him if that’s okay?” she answered, sending a pointed stare at Kihyun. She was giving him the opportunity to get to know Hoseok without adults in the room; Kihyun didn’t know whether to thank her or run out of the house.

“Of course! Kitchen’s on the left of the stairs.” Hoseok responded and Kihyun’s mother was out of the room before Kihyun could blink, leaving an awkward silence in her wake. Kihyun averted his eyes as Hoseok took a seat beside him, shifting slightly until he was facing Kihyun.

“So Kihyun. Have fingers for toes or toes for fingers?”

Kihyun laughed before he could help it. “What?”

Hoseok smiled too, “easiest awkward silence breaker ever. Works every time.”

“Sorry. I’m- I’m not good with people.” Kihyun explained.

“So you’re shy and quiet and I talk too much for my own good. This is gonna work out great.”

Hoseok wasn’t running away, and insinuated that he wouldn’t run away either. Kihyun felt a sudden urge to cry.

“How old are you?” he asked, clearing his throat and pushing the tears away.

“Turned 17 on March 1st. You?”

“16. My birthday’s in November; on the 22nd.”

“So I have 5 months to really get to know you so I can give you a great present. Noted.”

The greatest present Hoseok had already given him was insinuating they would still talk to each other and possibly be friends by the time Kihyun’s birthday rolled around. Kihyun couldn’t say that though.

“And I’ll return the favour next March.”

Hoseok smiled, eyes turning into crescents as he moved an inch closer.

“Perfect.”

*******

“Take a jacket, just in case. Or wear something more colourful for God's sake Kihyun you look like you’re going to a funeral not a party.”

Kihyun observed himself in the mirror, ignoring his mother. He was wearing his favourite black jeans and black shirt, paired with his black trainers. He’d slicked back his hair with an old gel he found in the bathroom cabinet though he was starting to regret that decision spotting the various amount of pimples dotting his forehead.

“The party’s colour theme is black Mum, and the party’s next door I don’t need a jacket.”

Kihyun thought himself lucky to have been invited to the party in the first place. Hoseok and his father had only been in town for 3 months and Hoseok already had a large group of friends, enough to throw a party. Although he never made Kihyun feel unwanted, often going over to Kihyun’s house to hang out in the evening, much to the delight of Kihyun’s mother.

“Still. It’s the middle of September…”

“I’m getting late, bye!” Kihyun called before grabbing his phone and dashing out of the front door. Hoseok’s house already looked packed as he walked in, nervously making a beeline for the living room. He couldn’t find Hoseok anywhere amidst the throng of people dancing, drinking and seriously making a huge mess of Hojun’s always polished floor. Kihyun considered running, running back to the safety of his room and lying to Hoseok the next day that he came down with something. But he couldn’t do that, not when Hoseok had been kind to him for so long, still making an effort to be his friend even though Kihyun was sometimes difficult.

So Kihyun moved to a secluded corner, perched down on the floor and watched people enjoy themselves. His eyes travelled to two guys on the other side of the room before he could help it. They were both immersed in each other in a heated kiss, the taller guy’s hands going to tug at the other’s hair. Kihyun wished he could be like that. Assured of himself and not give a damn about what anyone thought of his sexuality. He had nothing to be ashamed of, he knew and yet, he just couldn’t imagine even holding a guy’s hand in public. Couldn’t imagine holding _Hoseok’s_ hand or kissing him, though he desperately wanted to. He didn’t even have the guts to tell Hoseok he was gay yet.

“I see you’ve found Minhyuk and Hyungwon.”

Kihyun jumped, heart beating as he turned to Hoseok who had apparently took a seat next to him, watching intently. He looked good. Too good, with heavy eyeliner that made his eyes pop more and lips that had a tint of red. Kihyun wanted to kiss those lips, wanted Hoseok to colour his lips red.

“Minhyuk and Hyungwon?” he asked.

“My co-worker Minhyuk and his boyfriend Hyungwon. They’re awesome people… just love sucking each other’s faces every chance they get.”

“I see.”

“I’m pan as hell and they make me want a boyfriend.” Hoseok spoke and Kihyun gulped, looking away. This was his chance, he could tell Hoseok he was gay and get it over with. Hoseok wouldn’t judge nor mind like Kihyun feared.

“I’m gay as hell and they make me want a boyfriend.” Kihyun mirrored. He felt Hoseok staring at him and he turned to him, seeing a smile on Hoseok’s lips that he couldn’t decipher.

“Maybe we should just date each other.” Hoseok whispered, twinkle in his eyes.

Kihyun couldn’t look away, “maybe.”

Hoseok held his gaze for a second longer before indicating vaguely, “want a drink?”

“Oh I don’t. I don’t drink.” Kihyun answered; he didn’t know how much more of a loser he could prove himself to Hoseok or how much more Hoseok could take. Truly, no one should have been drinking since no one in the room looked of age but that certainly didn’t stop anyone judging by how heavily the room stank of beer.

“Neither do I. I make a mean mocktail though, follow me? I can introduce you to Min and Hyungwon once they decide to stop trying to eat each other’s tongues.”

Hoseok didn’t wait for a response before getting up, cutting through the crowd of people and out of the living room. Kihyun followed him instantly. Like he always did. The kitchen was thankfully secluded and Kihyun hopped on a free counter and sat down, watching as Hoseok moved around effortlessly.

“Kihyunnie, what do you wanna be when you’re older?”

Kihyun paused, shocked at the form of endearment Hoseok just used with him. Hoseok didn’t seem bothered though and Kihyun tried not to sound too pleased when he answered.

“I don’t know to be honest. I’m only good at science and physics so something in those fields I suppose. You?”

“A chef.” Hoseok answered instantly and from the way he moved in the kitchen, how confident he looked, Kihyun could definitely see it happening in the future.

“When you open a restaurant in the future, promise I get on the house free food?”

“Of course. Anything for you.”

Kihyun smiled, looking away. “So… um… your Mum?”

“Curious?”

“I didn’t mean to-”

Hoseok laughed, moving to squeeze Kihyun’s thigh briefly before resuming his mocktail. “You’re honestly so adorable when you’re flustered. But anyway my parents separated a while ago. I chose to stay with my Dad. He really should know I love him because my Mum’s loaded and I said no to all that.”

“How loaded?”

“Has enough money to buy a private island loaded.”

Kihyun whistled, “Damn.”

“Right? She wanted me to come visit early November until New Year’s but I told her no, I can’t miss your birthday after all. She thinks it’s because of my Dad though.”

“What? Hoseok you don’t have to-”

“I do. I promised I’d give you an awesome present, I don’t go back on my word.”

“Well I’m honoured.”

Hoseok shrugged, finally handing Kihyun a glass of brightly coloured liquid. “Like I said, anything for you.”

*******

“I need your help.”

Kihyun turned to Hoseok, watched as the light from the moon bounced off his cheek as he played with his fingers. They were in Hoseok’s room, heating on full blast and gazing outside at the falling snow. Hojun and Kihyun’s mother had apparently both found an interest in the opera and had gone for the night, with strict instructions not to have a party in either of the houses. Like Kihyun had people beside Hoseok, Hyungwon and Minhyuk to invite anyway.

“If this is you not so subtly trying to find out what present I’d want once again Hoseok I swear to God.” Kihyun warned.

Kihyun’s birthday was 2 days away and for the past week Hoseok had been pestering him, attempting to find out what kind of gift Kihyun would want.

“Not this time. It’s about a girl.”

Kihyun was attentive then. Hoseok hadn’t expressed interest in anyone since the 5 months they’d known each other and a part of Kihyun wished that was because Hoseok was interested in _him_ , and didn’t know how to tell him. Though now, it seemed that wasn’t the case at all.

“What happened?” Kihyun asked, almost afraid of an answer.

“She’s this amazingly gorgeous girl that keeps coming to the cinema on my shifts. Min told me she doesn’t come on any other days, just days I’m there. I think, no I’m pretty sure she flirts with me too.”

Kihyun wasn’t bothered. He wouldn’t be bothered. “Okay then ask her out.” he cursed that his voice cracked a little.

“Should I? I just feel like shit because I’ve never really been in a proper relationship you know? Never even kissed anyone. What if I ask her and she says yes and we kiss and it’s crap and I’m dumped?”

Kihyun laughed, humourlessly and forced. “Hoseok, you’ll be fine. You’re charming and funny and you’re not so bad looking.”

“I might still be a shit kisser though.”

“I mean I don’t know how to help you with that unless you wanna practice on me.” Kihyun stated, genuinely smiling this time to show he was joking. Except he could see Hoseok truly consider it before he turned to him slowly, mischievous glint in his eyes.

“Would you let me do that?”

Kihyun frowned; yes, he wanted to kiss Hoseok. Had wanted to kiss him for the longest time. But not like this, not as practice. He wanted to kiss Hoseok for real, because Hoseok liked him.

“I don’t know…”

“Please Kihyunnie, just a little peck.”

“A peck’s not practice though. She might wanna pull a Min and Hyungwon and go for tongue.”

Hoseok scoffed, “Right.”

“Sorry if I made things weird.” He said after a while and Kihyun shifted closer.

“Course you didn’t, you’re nervous it’s understandable.”

“I’m not usually so unsure of myself like this. I feel like shit.” Hoseok replied. He looked confused, downcast and totally unlike himself. Kihyun wanted to bring the smile back to his face.

“Alright. Practice on me. Tongue and all if you want to.”

“You don’t have to Ki, it’s fine. I would never make you do something you don’t want or something you’re uncomfortable with.”

“Hey, I’m not uncomfortable with it that’s why I’m offering. I _want_ to help. Besides it’s practice for me too since I’ve never kissed anyone either, though that’s not a shock to anyone.”

“It’s a shock to me since you’re pretty darn adorable with your freckled nose.”

Kihyun laughed, moving even closer, “dude just kiss me.”

Hoseok’s expression shifted, and he grabbed Kihyun’s hands, “you sure?”

“Yeah.”

They stared at each other for a moment, Hoseok’s eyes bigger than ever as he searched Kihyun’s face. Kihyun kept his gaze, though he was sure he’d start blushing any moment if Hoseok didn’t look away. Finally, he leaned forward and Kihyun’s eyes closed before he could help it. He waited with bated breath before he finally felt soft lips touch his nose briefly, almost like a feather. Hoseok’s grip became impossibly tighter and Kihyun heard him sharply inhale before he felt soft lips touch his own. A sigh escaped Kihyun’s lips. He opened his eyes to find Hoseok’s closed and he took that moment to memorise the curve of Hoseok’s eyes and the little mole he had under his eyelid. The way his left eyelashes looked longer than his right’s. Hoseok pressed further and Kihyun’s mouth opened, a shiver running down his spine as Hoseok’s tongue slowly darted in, licking the roof of his mouth.

Hoseok rose and Kihyun followed, his hand going to cup Hoseok’s cheeks as the kiss became heated. He was moving backwards before he realised, back pressing gently against the wall. Their teeth clashed a few times and their noses bumped, but to Kihyun, it was perfect. The way Hoseok’s lips fit his perfectly and the gentle way Hoseok was caressing his hair, other hand on Kihyun’s lower back. How _close_ they were, like they were one soul. The noises that escaped Hoseok’s mouth and how desperately he pressed into Kihyun like he wanted more, like he _needed_ more of Kihyun.

Kihyun was the first to pull away, forehead resting against Hoseok’s as they stared at each other.

“Wow.” Kihyun spoke.

“Wow.” Hoseok echoed.

“So… not a bad kisser.” Kihyun stated and Hoseok laughed, leaning forward to press another quick, gentle kiss on Kihyun’s lips.

“You neither.”

*******

**EIGHTEEN**

*******

Kihyun startled as the front door slammed and moments later Hoseok was barging in to the living room, visibly annoyed.

“What’s up?” Kihyun asked, placing the tray of lemonade he was holding down and walking towards Hoseok.

“Me and Laura broke up.”

“What? I was just coming outside with the lemonade, what the fuck happened in like 10 minutes?”

“She got pissy because I cancelled our date and chose to hang out with the both of you today.”

“Seokkie I told you not to cancel the date.”

“What was I meant to do? Go and enjoy myself while my best friend’s grandmother just got rushed to the hospital? No, I told you and your Mum I’d be here for you while she’s at the hospital.”

“But you were telling me just a week ago you see a long term future with her. You’ve been dating for 2 years now, you can’t just break up because of me.”

“She claimed you liked me and was trying to break me and her up. Imagine being that paranoid? I mean if you liked me you’d have told a long time ago since we don’t keep anything from each other. And I know you’d never try to break me up from someone I liked because you care about me. And care about my happiness.”

“She was saying bad shit about you Kihyun; I don’t see a future with a homophobic person, talk about someone talking about my best friend like that. If she can’t respect you, respect our friendship and that you mean the world to me then she can go.”

“I feel so guilty though.”

“Don’t. I’m thankful to you because at least I now know that I was dating a closeted homophobic. Let’s drop it, okay?”

“Should I call Minhyuk and Hyungwon? We can watch a movie or go clubbing or something. Lots of shots, clear your head and forget about everything?” Kihyun suggested and Hoseok’s lips turned up into a smirk.

“Look at you Mr Yoo. You the same guy that couldn’t even look me in the eye when we first met? 18 now and suddenly going crazy.”

“I blame you for being a bad influence on me.”

Hoseok moved forward, closing the distance between them and pressing a soft kiss on Kihyun’s forehead.

“Let’s call Min and Hyungwon. We can stay in and watch a movie. I also have a new cupcake recipe I saw online I wanna try out.”

“Yes Chef Lee, sir. I’ll go call them. My kitchen’s all yours.”

Kihyun waited until he was safe in the room before his fingers flew up to his forehead, the spot Hoseok kissed still warm. Hoseok was like that, affectionate and free. He liked to give “platonic kisses”. Platonic kisses on the forehead, on the cheeks, on Kihyun’s nose, Kihyun’s fingers. Everywhere but Kihyun’s lips. Never since that night that they kissed in the comfort of Hoseok’s bedroom.

And Kihyun let it happen, let it selfishly happen because if Hoseok didn’t see him the way he wanted, if he’d never see him that way, at least Kihyun got _something_. He didn’t care that it was desperate, that it felt like he was lying to his best friend and taking advantage every time he accepted Hoseok’s kisses. It was _something_ and Kihyun would take anything, anything he got.

Pulling himself together, he texted Minhyuk and Hyungwon before rushing back down the stairs, taking his place on the counter while Hoseok baked.

“Chef Lee. You know you’re getting so good?”

“Everything I do is so I can open that restaurant in the future and make sure you get free food from me.”

“Remember to state that in the future when you get your own talk show or whatever so your fans can know who to thank.”

“They’d know already since I’m gonna name the restaurant Kiki’s.” Hoseok replied, putting emphasis on ‘Kiki’ and sounding alarmingly like Kihyun’s mother.

“When will you stop flirting? You didn’t even hear us come in.”

Kihyun jumped, turning around to glare at Minhyuk and Hyungwon. Hyungwon had grown impossibly taller since last year, slender frame making him look like a world class model already. Minhyuk had also dyed his hair an alarming green and pierced his left eyebrow while drunk. It somehow looked good on him though.

“I swear to God Minhyuk I’m changing where we put the spare key.”

“You can do that. But I’ll still find it.”

“To reinstate his question though… when will you two stop flirting? It’s been decades now, admit you like each other and kiss already.” Hyungwon shrugged, shoving Kihyun off the counter and taking a seat. Kihyun wondered not for the first time why he was friends with them.

“They already kiss though.” Minhyuk inputted.

“Ah yeah, platonic kisses.”

“You don’t understand me and my best friend.” Hoseok answered, furiously whipping his mixture and Minhyuk sent an apologetic smile Kihyun’s way.

“God, Lee, you’re killing this guy.”

Kihyun hated that everyone, including his mother could see plain as day that Kihyun was enamoured by Hoseok. Minhyuk and Hyungwon figured it out the night of the party when Hoseok first introduced him and even Hojun’s gently hinted that Kihyun should tell Hoseok how he felt. Everyone but Hoseok knew. Hoseok, his best friend who knew him more than anyone else. Was he really oblivious or was he pretending to spare Kihyun’s feelings?

“Kihyunnie would tell me if he liked me. Just like I’d tell him if I liked him.”

“Yeah.” Kihyun agreed softly, facing the ground.

“You’ll figure it out.” Hyungwon said with a shrug and Hoseok turned to Kihyun, sending him a small smile before turning back to his work.

*******

Kihyun was wide awake, body stiff as he glanced down at Hoseok’s sleeping form on his chest. Even without looking he knew his dick would be hard, throbbing and desperate for release. He didn’t dare move; if he did Hoseok might wake up and then it’d be all over for Kihyun. Pretending not to like him was one thing, explaining how he could possibly get a boner over him would be another thing.

It wasn’t his fault in fairness. Kihyun’s mother had gone to stay overnight at the hospital with his grandmother and Hoseok had offered to sleepover so Kihyun wouldn’t be alone. And when they both finally decided it was time for bed, Hoseok had stripped, abs starting to form from the vigorous exercise he had started on doing. And it didn’t help that he decided to wear the tightest boxers in the world; so that _everything_ was on show. And it was hot, so damn hot- July relentlessly bringing heat wave after heat wave. And all Kihyun could think about was Hoseok and how fucking _hot_ he looked.

And now he had a boner.

He froze when Hoseok shifted and he quickly reached over, draping a blanket over himself despite the heat.

“Not sleeping yet Kihyunnie?” Hoseok muttered, opening his eyes slowly and looking up at him, doe eyes blinking sleepily. And Kihyun literally felt his dick get harder; why did Hoseok have to be so adorable?

“Um yeah. Go back to sleep.” He said, desperately hoping Hoseok wouldn’t move closer or Hoseok’s hands wouldn’t go anywhere lower.

“What’s wrong?” Hoseok asked instead, instantly awake and worried and Kihyun heaved a sigh. God it was hot.

“Nothing. Just not that tired, really Seokkie. Go back to sleep.”

Hoseok peered up at him, reaching up to touch Kihyun’s forehead that was beaded with sweat. He slowly sat up, using both hands to position himself so he could look down on Kihyun. His lips were pulled into a pout, big and just so _fuckable_ and those doe eyes peering down at him didn’t help either. Kihyun’s mouth released a small groan before he could stop it.

“Kihyunnie?” Hoseok asked, still worried. He moved to sit down properly and Kihyun gasped as Hoseok’s hands lightly grazed across his dick. Kihyun was sure there was no way he didn’t feel it. He closed his eyes, shame flooding through him as he heard Hoseok chuckle slightly.

“Ki why didn’t you say so?” he chuckled, tone teasing.

“Hoseok shut up. Let me die in shame in peace.”

“Oh Ki.” Hoseok said, still chuckling.

“Once I get over this shame I’m seriously going to kill you.” Kihyun warned, opening his eyes to see Hoseok staring at him intently. Hoseok moved closer until his mouth was tickling Kihyun’s earlobe.

“Want me to help you?” he whispered, any teasing gone from his tone.

“Hoseok-”

“I think I’ll be way better than you going into the bathroom and jerking off, let me make you feel good.”

“We can’t.”

“Why not?”

Why not? Because this wasn’t like platonic kisses, this was intimacy, this was something Kihyun wanted to do if Hoseok liked him.

“My lips aren’t big for no reason you know.”

“Your lips are big so you can give me a blowjob?”

Hoseok laughed, breath fawning over Kihyun’s cheek before leaning back and sitting down, right on Kihyun’s lap. Right on Kihyun’s dick. Kihyun emitted a low moan.

“Hoseok-”

“I’m a shitty best friend if I can’t make you feel good when needed.”

Kihyun could feel Hoseok’s dick starting to harden too, could see his eyes slowly closing and Kihyun knew, knew this would be all he’d ever get from Hoseok. Platonic kisses and platonic intimacy; and he was willing to take it. Take everything Hoseok gave him because it’s all he’d ever have.

He sat up, feeling the friction of their dicks rubbing through their thin clothes and crashed his lips onto Hoseok’s, desperately attempting to tug off his shirt in the process. Hoseok was instantly receptive, awkwardly tugging off his flimsy boxers and helping Kihyun out of his. Kihyun’s breathing sped up, eyes trained on Hoseok’s dick; on how thick it was, veins bulging from the hardness.

“You look good.” Hoseok said, staring at Kihyun, clear lust filling his eyes.

Kihyun reached forward, tugging at Hoseok’s hair until their faces were inches from each other. “Make me _feel_ good.” He commanded and Hoseok smirked, nodding slowly and pulling away.

“Tell me what you want me to do.”

Kihyun shifted until he was sitting on the edge of his bed. “On your knees.” He said and Hoseok moved until he was kneeling between Kihyun’s legs, head titled up as he waited for Kihyun to speak again.

“Fuck Hoseok.” Kihyun whispered, cock hardening from that simple gesture.

“Tell me what you want.” Hoseok muttered, voice low and throaty.

“Mouth. Open your mouth.” Kihyun answered and Hoseok instantly opened his mouth, eyes watching Kihyun’s every movement. Kihyun shifted until his dick was positioned by the opening of Hoseok’s mouth and on Hoseok’s nod, he moved forward, grabbing Hoseok’s hair and guiding his mouth to suck.

Kihyun’s fingers clawed at Hoseok’s scalp the faster he moved, and he saw tears form at Hoseok’s eyes.

“Tell me if I hurt you.” Kihyun said, caressing Hoseok’s cheek softly. Hoseok pulled back.

“Hurt me if you want, do whatever you want to me. I want to make you feel good.”

Kihyun almost cummed right then. Instead he nodded, leaning down to kiss Hoseok quickly before placing his hand on the back of his neck and guiding him forward. He closed his eyes as Hoseok took control, using his hands to palm Kihyun’s balls as his mouth relentlessly kept moving, tongue hot and wet on Kihyun’s dick. Kihyun dropped back to the bed, clawing at his sheets as Hoseok continued, noises of him slurping filling the room. Occasionally, he’d hum against Kihyun’s dick, sending vibrations through his body and Kihyun’s breathing became laboured, loud moans flying from his mouth.

“God yes. Yes Hoseok. Fuck.”

Kihyun’s chants of ‘ _fuck, fuck, fuck’_ filled the room as all words failed him. Hoseok didn’t stop once, didn’t try to come for breath, speeding up and using his hands at the same time. Kihyun sat back up, saw tears freely dripping down Hoseok’s eyes and sweat forming at his forehead. Their eyes met, Hoseok not looking away and Kihyun not daring to.

“Hoseok, fuck. I’m gonna- stop before I-” Kihyun couldn’t finish his sentences, all thoughts cleared from his mind as Hoseok sped up even more, apparently determined that Kihyun _should_ cum. Right in his mouth. Kihyun thought of it, thought of his cum filling Hoseok, thought of Hoseok taking it all and he groaned, half shouting as his dick finally released; hot cum bursting out. He watched as Hoseok took it all, every last drop and swallowed before pulling away and looking at Kihyun expectantly. Kihyun collapsed on the bed, breath slowing down.

“I did good?” Hoseok asked, voice hoarse and quiet. Kihyun leaned up, glancing down at Hoseok and offering him a smile.

“Yeah. You did.”

*******

**TWENTY SIX**

*******

“Minhyuk if you drop your fucking nachos all over my car floor I swear you’re getting rolled out onto the highway.” Kihyun threatened.

“I’m sorry! I’m just so excited to see him. It’s been 8 years Kihyun!” Minhyuk exclaimed and Kihyun sighed; why he agreed to let Minhyuk come in the first place, he didn’t know.

“I know Min, I’m excited too but for God's sake don’t make my car dirty.”

“I just can’t believe after 8 years you’re still so whipped for him.” Minhyuk stated and Kihyun shrugged.

Hoseok’s mother had offered to enrol him in a private culinary school in England after they graduated high school and it was an offer too tempting for Hoseok to refuse. And Kihyun fully supported it too; and so Hoseok had left, dramatically declaring Kihyun his best friend forever and promising to call every night. And he did, called every night at first until it was obvious it wouldn’t work. The time zones and Hoseok always being tired after a hard day of school meant their calls were moved two thrice a week, then twice, then when both of them weren’t busy. Kihyun still considered himself Hoseok’s best friend, still loved him like he always did, but he knew everything would be different.

Summers spent giving each other platonic kisses and helping each other jerk off would have surely been forgotten. Kihyun didn’t forget though, he didn’t think he could ever forget.

“What can I do Min, I’ve tried to move on. You know that.” Kihyun stated.

“I know. I’m sorry.” Minhyuk replied.

“I wish my story could be like a Minhyuk Hyungwon story but unfortunately that’s not gonna happen. How different do you think he’d be? Maybe he’ll be so different I’ll feel like I don’t know him anymore and get over him.” Kihyun suggested.

“If there’s one person I don’t think can ever change though, it’s Hoseok.”

Kihyun sighed as he pulled up at the airport, anxiety rising as him and Minhyuk got out and walked inside.

“Don’t look so nervous.” Minhyuk said, reaching over to fix Kihyun’s hair. “You look good, he’ll be blown away.”

And Kihyun had to admit, he _did_ look good. He’d grown considerably taller, and built up just a bit. He’d dyed his hair a deep purple and decided an undercut hairstyle really suited him. He was dressed in a suit since he had to rush from work to pick Minhyuk up and drive to the airport and he loved the way the black suit hugged his body and made him look even taller.

“God what if we don’t click like we used to?” Kihyun voiced.

“Kihyunnie!”

Kihyun almost screamed, heart falling out his chest as a loud voice boomed through the airport and he turned to see a tall man rushing towards him, scarf trailing behind him. Hoseok.

If Kihyun thought he’d grown up well, Hoseok grew up better. His voice had become deeper and he was tall, built and impossibly beautiful. Everything on him looked defined and carefully crafted. But his face, his face was still chubby, his eyes still big and ears still stuck out. And Kihyun’s favourite thing, his smile. It was still the same.

“You’re blonde!” Kihyun shouted, meeting him halfway and pulling him into a fierce hug.

“You’re purple!” Hoseok replied, actually _lifting_ Kihyun off his feet.

“This is why I should have stayed home.” Minhyuk complained, coming up behind and Hoseok dropped Kihyun, enveloping Minhyuk in a hug.

“Min! Fuck I missed you guys so much.” Hoseok said, voice cracking and Kihyun smiled. Hoseok was the same. Of course he was the same. Which meant Kihyun was still whipped as ever.

“Don’t go crying on us Seokkie.” Kihyun said, moving forward to squeeze Hoseok’s hand.

“Babe?”

Kihyun froze, instantly dropping Hoseok’s hand and turning to the woman that had emerged. She was small and petite, red hair curled olive skin shining as she smiled warmly at the scene. Hoseok stepped back and placed an arm on her waist, smiling brightly.

“Min, Kihyunnie. Meet my fiancé. Danielle Brooks.”

*******

“He went and fucking got engaged?! Is he kidding me?” Hyungwon said, pacing Kihyun’s room. Kihyun sat on the bed, watching him, hoping his face didn’t betray how exhausted and unhappy he felt. Of course Hoseok had moved on with his life; he didn’t think of Kihyun as more than his best friend to begin with why the hell wouldn’t he have gotten engaged?

“I mean… he’s kinda entitled to that Wonnie.”

“Don’t give me that bullshit Ki. You not telling him is one thing but is he so damn oblivious he didn’t realise you’re in love with him and has been since you were 16?”

“Don’t be upset with him, to be honest there’s nothing to be upset about. Look, he’s happy. Danielle is nice from the conversation I had with her when we were coming here. Let’s just enjoy his welcome party and forget everything. It hurts yeah, but hey, I was looking for a reason to get over him. Here it is.”

“You don’t deserve this, Kihyun. Not at all.” Hyungwon said and Kihyun smiled.

“Thanks for caring. Now, put on a smile and let’s go downstairs. You’re the only one that hasn’t congratulated him and he must be wondering why.”

Hyungwon nodded, allowing Kihyun to lead him downstairs and going straight to Hoseok. Kihyun watched him go before going to sit by his mother who was in deep conversation with Hojun.

“Oh Kihyun I am so sorry, you don’t deserve this.” Hojun said as soon as he spotted him and Kihyun grinned.

“How many people will tell me that today?”

“I promise you, I didn’t know. It’s news to me too. If I had, I would have given you warning or something.”

“How are you feeling?” his mother asked and Kihyun couldn’t stand the way they were both looking at him, with pity. Hell the way everyone at the party were looking at him. Because they all knew, they all knew who Kihyun’s heart belonged too and they all knew that person just ripped it into pieces.

“I’ll go to the garden for a bit.” He replied, turning and walking outside. He cursed under his breath; seeing a figure perched on the swing. He turned away; if he moved quietly Hoseok wouldn’t spot him.

“Kihyun!”

Kihyun sighed and moved towards Hoseok, taking a seat beside him on the swing.

“Hey.”

“You okay?” Hoseok asked. Kihyun was getting real tired of that question.

“So… you’re engaged.” He replied and Hoseok smiled.

“Hmm. I met her at school. I didn’t know she was interested in me for a long time. You know how oblivious I am. She told me and we started dating and here we are.”

Kihyun scoffed, because yes. He did know how oblivious Hoseok was.

“And you didn’t think to tell me?” he didn’t mean for his tone to be accusatory but Hoseok picked up on his mood straight away, like he always did.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s whatever. Congrats.” Kihyun answered.

“Can I tell you something?”

“Anything.”

“I- I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing? If marrying her is the right thing.” Hoseok confessed. Kihyun’s heart sped.

“Why?”

“In the back of my mind, there’s always someone else. And I don’t know if I ever truly got over that person.”

“Laura?” Kihyun asked.

Hoseok shook his head.

“Who?” Kihyun tried again, throat choking up.

“Can I kiss you?” Hoseok replied.

“Me?” Kihyun asked.

Hoseok nodded. Kihyun suddenly felt angry.

“For how long?” he demanded.

“Since we first kissed.”

“You didn’t kiss me to practice. It was to confirm.”

“Yes.”

“So everything we did, the platonic kisses, the intimacy. Everything was to confirm?” Kihyun asked.

“I’m sorry.”

“And now you wanna kiss me again, to what? Confirm? To assure yourself you love Danielle? I’m not a fucking doll Hoseok.”

“I’m not saying you are-”

“Fuck I have liked you for so damn long, pining after you. Taking everything you gave me because I didn’t dare to hope for more. Watched you with Laura, watched you move away, watched you come back with Danielle and you have the audacity to say this bullshit to me. That I’m some sort of fucking test? A doll you use to assure yourself that you love the person you’re with are you actually kidding me?”

“Kihyunnie you know you mean the world to me.” Hoseok said, reaching forward and Kihyun jerked away.

“Don’t touch me, Hoseok. Do not touch me. What was that you said once? How we don’t lie to each other? I felt so guilty for so long thinking I should have told you I liked you all along and turns out you were using me. I’m meant to be your best friend.”

“You are.”

“I can’t believe this.”

“Kihyun. Please.”

Kihyun stood up, stepping away from Hoseok.

“I’m so fucking disappointed in you right now. I’m so upset, I’m fuming I don’t know what the hell to think. But please, from now on. Don’t try to contact me, don’t talk to me. Leave me the hell alone so I can finally move on from you.”

Tears filled Hoseok’s eyes and he got up, attempting to grab Kihyun’s hands. “Kihyunnie. Please.”

“God even now that you’re crying all I want to do is make you feel better. Hoseok why did you do this?” Kihyun asked, sobs erupting from his mouth too.

“I’m sorry.”

Kihyun looked at him, memorised his face; his lips, eyes, all of Kihyun’s favourite features on him. Then he turned and walked away.

*******

“Kihyun dude you can’t eat your weight in ice cream forever.”

“Watch me.” Kihyun replied. Minhyuk and Hyungwon simultaneously sighed, glancing at each other. They’d come over to Kihyun’s apartment, Hoseok apparently having told them everything that went down.

“Hey at least you weren’t the only one pining.”

“It’s not funny Min. He used me.”

“I know. I’m pissed off at him too believe me.”

“I’m such an idiot.” Kihyun said, dumping the ice cream on the floor and curling up into a ball.

“Fuck his wedding Min we’re not going.” Hyungwon decided.

“Hey he can’t lose all his friends at once.” Kihyun answered instantly, concerned for Hoseok even if he didn’t want to be.

“He really doesn’t deserve you.”

“Worst still I’m going to be part of his fucking wedding. Hojun’s asked me especially to be Hoseok’s best man I can’t let him down.”

“You’re kidding me.”

“Look. Hoseok might be a jerk but his father’s amazing. He’s been nothing but nice to me since we’ve known him, I refuse to turn him down or make him unhappy. It’d be like kicking a puppy in the gut.”

“And what about what his son did to you?” Hyungwon asked.

“I’ll get over it. I’ll have to get over it.”

*******

“Baby you listening?”

Hoseok snapped to attention, eyes not moving from watching Kihyun. Kihyun was currently in the corner of the room, engaged in a conversation with Hoseok’s father. Kihyun laughed loudly, dimples forming on his cheek and Hoseok felt a smile fly to his lips immediately. Kihyun was still there, helping with his wedding despite what Hoseok did just to make Hoseok’s father happy. How could Hoseok have used him like that?

And how could he have been so oblivious to Kihyun. Kihyun who apparently everyone in town could see was in love with him. His father knew, Minjae knew, Minhyuk knew, Hyungwon knew. Even Danielle had mentioned it after Kihyun had left on the night of the party

“ _That guy is in love with you, you know that?_ ” she had said.

After all that, after knowing that his heart beat a mile a minute when Kihyun’s name was _mentioned_ could Hoseok really go through with the wedding? But Danielle, she was kind. She had a lot in common with Hoseok and Hoseok truly loved her.

“What did you say?” Hoseok asked, prying his eyes away from Kihyun with effort.

“I said we should play our song when I walk down the aisle instead of the wedding march.” Danielle repeated.

“Anything you want.”

Hoseok’s attention was snapped back to Kihyun as he watched a guy cross the room to tap him on the shoulder. The guy had bright red hair and thighs that rivalled Hoseok’s. He also had an infectious smile and Hoseok frowned as Kihyun’s entire face lit up and he hugged the guy instantly, smile wider than anything Hoseok had seen on him.

“Jooheon, you weren’t due back till tomorrow!” Kihyun said.

“Surprise!” Jooheon replied, pulling Kihyun back into another fierce hug. He watched Minhyuk and Hyungwon cross over to them and also hug Jooheon. Who the fuck was this guy hugging his Kihyun and his friends.

“You came at the perfect time J. Ki’s been moping around for days now.” Hyungwon said, not hiding his glare at Hoseok.

“Please like I’d ever let him mope now that I’m here.” Jooheon stated confidently and Kihyun grinned.

“I’ve missed you so much. You have to tell me how everyone is back at Seoul. Also how is Changkyunnie?”

“He’s doing good. He’s gonna come tomorrow, we should all go to the park or something.”

“Honey!”

Hoseok could feel his jealousy rise as Minjae rushed across the room and planted kisses on Jooheon’s cheeks. Minjae only ever did that with _him_.

“Baby?” Danielle spoke beside him and Hoseok rubbed his temple.

“ _Not now_.” He replied, still fixed on Kihyun and his fucking smile that wasn’t directed at him. Getting up, he crossed the room.

“Hi I’m Hoseok. I don’t think we’ve met.” Hoseok spoke loudly, garnering the group’s attention. He watched as Kihyun frowned before stepping forward.

“Jooheon, this is Hoseok. The groom. Hoseok, Jooheon.”

“Hey nice to meet you man.” Jooheon greeted, putting his hand out to shake, two dimples appearing as he smiled.

“You too.” Hoseok answered through gritted teeth.

“Honey should we go to that ice cream place you like after this? We have to catch up.” Kihyun said, pulling Jooheon away without even as much as sparing a glance towards Hoseok.

Hoseok watched him go, heart shattering in his chest.

*******

“You’re gonna burn a hole in the back of the guy’s head you know that?” Hyungwon taunted, settling beside Hoseok. Jooheon wasn’t leaving; he seemed to make it a mission to come over every day, to help with the wedding and talk to Kihyun. His other friend Changkyun had also arrived from Seoul. And together they held Kihyun’s attention. Hoseok hated it.

“Does Jooheon like Kihyun?”

“What’s it to you?” Hyungwon answered.

“Wonnie, please just tell me.”

“How did you fuck up this badly?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do you love Danielle? Do you, hands on heart, see a perfect future with her? Because to me it’s obvious where your feelings lie. Kihyun smiles at another guy and you look like you wanna smash something. You aren’t even paying attention to your fiancé. It’s all Kihyun, Kihyun, Kihyun. Why are you trying to convince your heart you don’t love him when you have loved him for so long?”

“I can’t hurt Danielle.”

“Oh but you can hurt Kihyun? Actually, yeah you can. You’ve done it already.”

“It already hurts Hyungwon. Don’t rub salt in the wound.”

“Oh boohoo, poor you. Everything’s about poor little Seokkie.”

“Hyungwon.”

“No. Don’t Hyungwon me. I’ve never taken your bullshit and I won’t now. You’re gonna end up hurting 3 people. You, Danielle and Kihyun. Because I tell you now you can marry Danielle but you will never be able to forget Kihyun. Eventually Danielle will get tired and leave you and you’ll end up alone. Kihyun will move on. He’s a catch and he’ll find someone that can put him first. That doesn’t use him as a fucking experiment.”

“I _love_ Kihyun, Hyungwon. I love him so much I can’t breathe sometimes. I’m mad that he’s so happy with Jooheon and not me but at the same time I’m glad he’s happy after the shit I did to him. I have loved him for so long and I’ve had this fear, this fear that I’d ruin everything if I said it to him. And yes, I love Danielle too, but never as much as I love Kihyun. And I don’t think it’ll ever be as much. I’m a selfish, horrible person. And I wish I never made such a mess of things.”

Hyungwon smiled at him, genuine for the first time in a long time, “I’m not the one you should be telling this to.”

“I’m scared.”

“It doesn’t matter. Only Kihyun’s and Danielle’s feelings matter. Don’t ruin both their lives.”

“Hoseok?”

Hoseok turned around, guilt immediately residing in him as Danielle looked over, tears in her eyes. She runs out of the room and Hoseok catches Kihyun’s worried expression before he darts out after her.

Snow had just begun to fall and Hoseok quickly caught up with Danielle, holding her close and guiding her into the back garden.

“Get off me.” She stated once sat down on the bench and Hoseok compiled.

“I’m sorry.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? Everything you told Hyungwon. Why was it so hard to tell _me_?”

“I was scared, I’m still scared. Scared that I’ve messed everything up with Kihyun forever, scared that you also hate me now. I’m terrified, Dani.”

“You wanted to have your cake and eat it too.” She said.

“Dan, no. It’s not like that.”

“Me, or Kihyun? Just, choose. Now.”

“Dani.”

“Choose.”

“When I look at Kihyun and he smiles at me, I genuinely feel like everything in life will be alright. He’s everything to me, he has always been, ever since I’ve met him. Being a chef has always been my dream but after I met Kihyun and promised to one day open a restaurant where I can give him free food, it became something I had to achieve no matter what. He makes me happy beyond compare and I’m sorry, I know it’s not what you wanted to hear, I know. But I can’t, I can’t choose you. I’ve fucked everything up with Kihyun but even then, I can’t choose you. It wouldn’t be fair on either of us.”

“Now, was that so hard?” Danielle asked, tears falling.

“I’m so sorry.”

“I’m just glad you told me before the wedding. I’m still mad at you and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive you, but at least you told me.”

“Word of advice? Don’t let Kihyun go. He’s a genuinely nice guy, work your butt off to get him back. And when that happens, make sure never to fuck up again.”

“It doesn’t matter. It seems like Jooheon’s here to make it all better for him.”

Danielle scoffed, lightly punching him on the arm. “God you’re an idiot. If you really think Kihyun would get over you that easily do you even know the guy? Besides, if you’d stop being jealous for 5 seconds you’d have seen Jooheon and Changkyun kiss. Like numerous times.”

“What?”

“Idiot. Jooheon and Changkyun are dating, Jooheon is just Kihyun’s friend. Stop being so stupid and go work your ass off to get your man back.” Danielle stated, took off her ring and handed it back to Hoseok before walking inside the house.

*******

“Hoseok.” Minjae glared at him, blocking the entrance with her whole body to show Hoseok was definitely not invited in. “What do you want?”

“I need to know where Kihyun’s apartment is.” Hoseok said, voice confident despite how nervous he was. Minjae scoffed, worry line deepening as she frowned.

“My son is not a rebound.”

“I know that, I promise you I know that. I messed up and I deserve all the anger everyone feels at me. But please, Minjae, please I need to speak to Kihyun. Minhyuk and Hyungwon aren’t telling me where he lives. Neither is my Dad. You’re the last person I can ask. I’m begging you Minjae, please.” Hoseok said, ignoring the coldness seeping through his bones. Finding Kihyun and letting him know how he felt was all he could think of.

Minjae considered for a moment before going inside the house and coming back later with an address scrawled on a piece of paper.

“I watched you grow Hoseok, I know you’re not a bad person. You’ve made bad choices but everyone deserves a second chance. My son is the most important person in life to me, I forbid you to hurt him a second time. Understood?”

“Thank you.” Hoseok stated and Minjae smiled fondly, ruffling his hair like she used.

“He’ll forgive you.” She said and Hoseok nodded, running off the porch and getting into his car. He quickly typed in the address on his GPS before speeding off, only semi-conscious of the snow. A few minutes later, he arrived at a towering apartment complex and he rushed in, taking the stairs until he reached the door marked 15C.

Checking his reflection in the mirror placed in the hallway, Hoseok knocked, heart hammering as he waited for the door to open.

Kihyun opened the door a moment later, glasses perched on his nose. He was dressed in pyjamas and he looked genuinely shocked to see Hoseok.

“My Mum gave you the address huh.” He stated, blocking the entrance with his whole body. Like mother like son. Hoseok almost smiled.

“Can I come in?” he asked.

“Not really. I was going through some stuff for work, I’m kinda busy at the moment.”

“Please, Kihyun.”

“Just leave me alone.” Kihyun answered and Hoseok hated how his eyes displayed no emotion, the twinkle he used to have when he saw Hoseok gone.

“If for nothing else. For our friendship, please let me in.” Hoseok said.

Kihyun frowned before stepping aside, going inside the apartment. He sat on a couch and Hoseok sat beside him. Kihyun’s apartment was definitely like him. Minimalistic with a colour scheme of green and black.

“Thank you for letting me in.”

“You might not, but I respect our friendship.”

“I deserved that.”

“Speak.”

“I need to start by saying sorry. What I did was wrong, using you to confirm that I liked someone was fucking stupid and I’m so sorry for it. I love you and I have for a long time. And it’s no excuse but every time I kissed you and hugged you, it only confirmed that I did love you. That I couldn’t love anyone else more than you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? After you broke it off with Laura?”

“I was scared. Our friendship meant the world to me and all my life all I’ve ever seen is relationships fall into pieces. My Mum and Dad being the one that affected me the most. I didn’t want that for me and you, I didn’t want our relationship to turn sour if we became more than friends.”

“You didn’t trust us? We’re not your Mum and Dad.”

“I know. I didn’t trust myself, Kihyunnie.”

Kihyun sighed, taking off his glasses and shifting closer.

“I should hate you.”

“You have every right to.”

“But I can’t. It killed me when you were with Danielle and I was happy when you announced it was over. You’ve hurt me, Hoseok. So much but I can’t help but love you. I can’t hate you. But I don’t know if I want to give you another chance either.”

Hoseok’s heart sank, though he smiled softly, squeezing Kihyun’s hand.

“And that’s okay. But please, give me our friendship back. I have no right to demand anything from you I know. But please, this one thing. Give it back to me. I’m sorry Kihyun. I’m so sorry.”

Kihyun looked down at their entwined fingers and back up at Hoseok. Then he leaned forward, pressing a soft chaste kiss on Hoseok’s lips.

“What did that kiss confirm for you?” Kihyun asked.

“That I love you and will always love you.”

“Even if I move on with someone else?”

“Even then. You’d be happy so I’d be happy.”

Kihyun leaned forward again, this time pressing a longer kiss to Hoseok’s lips, hand caressing his hair.

“Ask me what that kiss confirmed for _me_.” Kihyun said after he pulled away.

“What did it confirm for you?” Hoseok asked, heartbeat racing.

“That I can’t love anyone else but you either.”

“We can make it work, I’ll do whatever it takes Kihyunnie. Please give me a second chance.”

“On one condition.” Kihyun replied.

“Anything.”

“No more platonic kisses.” He said and Hoseok scoffed, closing the gap between them.

“No more platonic kisses.”

*******

**THIRTY ONE**

*******

“Happy birthday dear Kihyun! Happy birthday to you!”

Kihyun grinned, looked from all the familiar faces surrounding him. Hyungwon was perched on Minhyuk’s knees, Jooheon and Changkyun by each other eyeing the cake. Hojun and his mother were sat next to each other, Hoseok was holding on to the cake, carefully balancing it on the table. Kihyun closed his eyes and made his wish before turning to Hoseok.

“What’d you wish for?”

“I’ll tell you later.” Kihyun replied with a wink, earning a groan from everyone present. He laughed, pulling Hoseok to sit by him as his phone rang.

“Hey Dani!” Kihyun exclaimed, waving excitedly as Dani waved back on screen.

“Happy birthday!” she shouted, clapping excitedly.

Hoseok beamed, snatching the phone from Kihyun’s hands.

“Dan-bear!” he said and Kihyun rolled his eyes, tuning into other conversations. Once Hoseok and Danielle got talking, there was no stopping them.

He observed his surroundings for a minute, the happy faces of his friends and his family and sighed contently.

He glanced up as a waiter came to their table, bill on hand.

“Thank you for dining at Kiki’s… boss, who should I make the bill out to?” he asked, turning to Hoseok. Hoseok smiled, pausing his conversation with Danielle for a moment. He reached under the table and squeezed Kihyun’s hand, ring on his left ring finger pressing against Kihyun’s skin.

“It’s on the house.” He replied.

**Author's Note:**

> you heard it here first folks. hoseok's lips are big just to give kihyun a blowjob // comments always appreciated~
> 
> come find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/wdymkiho)<3


End file.
